Surrender

Surrender
Surrender

Yesterday I made a list of All The Things. It's a solid list. A productive list. An ambitious list. A very full list. A list that does not have very much margin. When I wrote it up I felt good about it. Now I was getting somewhere! Right here in black and white are all the Things I’m either responsible for or otherwise assume responsibility for. I am going to be more intentional about how I spend my time. There are Things that I have to do -- work, laundry and toilets. And Things I want to do -- photography, art journaling and yoga. The trick, it would seem, is smushing All The Things into a 24 hour day, 7 day week. I have the Things categorized by frequency - daily, daily +, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annually. Weekly is really really full. That is my first inkling that maybe I have too many Things….

As serendipity would have it, after writing down all the Things, I came across Proverbs 16:19 — “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” *sigh*

I am not one to surrender, or give up. In fact according to my brain, if I do surrender, it's on my terms, keeping me in “control”. I gave up because I wanted to, and here is how it’s going to go down. While talking to my sister about my meal plan list (lists are my happy place). She commented on how she liked that I write out the plan of what we are going to eat, then beside it I write down what we actually ate. In the case of food, it’s easy for me to change course. I don’t particularly like cooking anyway. Everything else on my schedule? Not so much. I thrive with routine, rituals and traditions.

In reality, the plans I make are more of a wish list than a for-real-get-done list. Most of the Things don’t get done. Certainly not on the schedule I’ve created. In direct opposition to All The Things is my One Little Word this year — Pause. Looking over the Things, several would count toward Pause. Like reading, writing the word, photography and yoga. I will protect those Things. The rest? I’ll have to figure out where they are on the priority list…. Yay! Another list!

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With gratitude, always.

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